There are some days you feel when things don’t go your way, today I felt it like was one of them. The days where you make rash and impulse decisions backfires you and all you get at the end of the day is scolding, emotional feelings and tears running down your face. I find it so hard to see eye to eye on certain things but yet, we still give and take. Dedication to a game , a sport or even in work is important but its just one of the days, where you say “Hey, lets step back and enjoy for a little while”. You may be healthy alive and kicking, or *choitouchwood* less healthy and not kicking. Don’t you think we should all be given that chance.. to just relax or even take a break?
To see the distraught look on their faces make me feel sad but yet, in every scenario there are two sides to a coin. I don’t pity them nor I think they deserve it because I really believe, dedication and commitment does not mean you attend every single event or just even a rehearsal. What you want to see is the desire to achieve, the passion, the fire and the spirit of doing your very best and go all out for the prize.
Everyone has a part to be blamed but, its just after a huge competition. You can’t tell them “Hey its time to go and do more practices”. Because, I still believe, everyone needs to take a little breather. Defeat isn’t something that everyone wants and yes, I do get bummed out over defeats but relaxation and enjoy sometimes, just take your mind off things.
So many thoughts are running through my head right now. I don’t even know where I actually stand because after all, I am just an outsider. I may have joined them but it was something that everyone somehow said yes to. We did not force or say everyone must go that kind of thing. A little polish and even a commitment from you would show a little GEM in them.
And just because you were there and they weren’t, also gives you a right to say what you want. No doubt you maybe be older and wiser, sometimes you should see things in their eyes not just yours. They are such bright gems in their every one. So unique yet so different. But what they are getting does not bring out that gem in them.
A lot won’t get what I am even trying to mean because I’m putting it in the most subtle way. Maybe someone would but he would probably get lost in the words as well.
Respect is earned from honour and what you have done. We all do respect but somehow along the way, I kinda did lose the respect I once had from you.
Like what one told me, people change. priorities also do change too when you grow older. For example, me as a 20 year old soon to be university student. My first priority is studies and family then friends and it goes on. When I have a family, the priority changes. Family & Career comes first and then the rest. The world knows it well enough :)
I hate to get angry over little pesky issues and I hate that when you get pissed you bring out every single shit on the table and shoot me down. Honestly, I ain’t that little anymore. I know what I am suppose to do. Even though I may be in another country soon, I know what are my limits and I know what I should not be doing while I am there. Life is short and sometimes, I don’t wanna have regrets not spending time with the people i love and close to in life.
You’ll never know. I might just perish from earth tomorrow.
Who knows? Only god knows :)
NOTE : this was just a rambling of mine. I do not mean it to specifically to anyone out there. thank you.